MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS

[MattBrady]

by Ryan McLelland

I hadn’t been excited by the Michael Bay Transformers trailers at all. Take one of my most beloved cartoons and comic books and bring it to the big screen by the same guy who brought us Bad Boys (and Bad Boys 2!) wasn’t a big selling point for me. That was until the one trailer where a Transformer made that lil’ transformer noise. I heard that and turned into a seven-year-old again.

I even went out and bought the 20 Anniversary Edition of Transformers: The Movie. That’s right – I went old school back to when Optimus Prime finally kicked Megatron’s butt and then died. However I tried to watch the DVD twice and both times I fell asleep. Not because the movie was bad or because I was bored…I just did.

I then became a little less excited again about Michael Bay’s Transformers. That was until the movie began and you hear Peter Cullen’s voice once again. Cullen did the voicework of Optimus in the TV show and he’s back again. Hearing his voice I was like… “Yeah…this could be decent. Maybe.”

I thought that until the first scene. It’s the desert, Qatar to be exact. A group of Army Special Forces guys (including Tyrese and Josh Duhamel) just get back from a mission and are chilling at a base when a mystery helicopter approaches. You didn’t have to see the fifty million trailers to know that he’s a bad guy – a Decepticon.

He comes to the base. Then a funny thing happens. He transforms. Well DUH…this is The Transformers, right? What did I expect?

Except that he really transforms. On that big screen. In all his glory. And he simply goes to town on the soldiers.

Suddenly I realize that I’m clapping in the theater. And shouting. And everyone else is as well. Suddenly, for the first time in years, I’m applauding something on screen. Because this giant helicopter transforms into this giant robot and you don’t have to a be a fan of the Transformers to buy into it. You buy it. It’s not just crappy CGI on a big screen. You buy that Blackout the helicopter transforms into this huge monster.

And this is when you know that you are seeing something special. Maybe not 1977 Star Wars special, but something unique has come to the big screen. Not horrible 28 Weeks Later zombie Dad. Not Bad-Bangs Peter Parker and Singing-Bad Mary Jane Watson. It hasn’t been done before and here it is in all its glory.

Enough gushing for the moment.

Move over to Sam ‘Spike’ Witwicky played by Shia LaBeouf. He’s not actually called Spike but he is the same kid who attaches himself right away to the Autobots. Sam is a dork but he’s quick witted and thus likeable from the start. Some have already scoffed at Shia becoming a movie star and landing roles like this and in Indy 4. But he really spreads his wings here. Shia really helps the movie because…well…we’ll get to that in a second.

You’ve seen the commercials and know that Shia buys Bumblebee. However the reason the Autobot has sought out the 11th grader is because of the AllSpark. It’s the McGuffin of the film – the device that landed on Earth and both the Autobots and Decepticons have been looking for. So not only did Bumblebee seek Shia out (and not the reverse) but the Decepticons are looking for him as well.

That’s the plot. Because in a movie like this there really isn’t a plot. And when they try to move along the movie with the human characters you just say to yourself, “Where’s Optimus Prime? Where’s Starscream? Let’s get some big honkin’ robots!” Shia helps when he is onscreen but when it isn’t him and we see the NSA or the hacker’s bedroom you kind of get bored. With CGI costs being the way they are we really can’t expect Transformers onscreen all the time, but it would be nice. Having no plot really didn’t bother me, but having some of the minimal characters on screen for too long was.

The characters. Jon Voight was very calm (for Jon Voight) as the Secretary of Defense. Bernie Mac was actually really good as a used car dealer and Anthony Anderson was not as a hacker living with Grandma. Tyrese and Josh Duhamel were awesome in the flick as the soliders who think about others first and themselves second. Megan Fox as the hot chick was great as…the hot chick. (Oh…what? She was HAWT! That was her job in the movie.) And, I hate to say this, but John Turturro was god-awful in a role as the field commander of secret Sector 7. I love Turturro. He is god in the Coen Brothers flick and the underappreciated Brain Donors. But he was just awful in this movie. When there were no robots and I had to look at Turturro it was almost time to lick gummy bears and throw them at the screen.

This is probably due to the fact that the movie was about 2 hours and fifteen minutes long, so you had the time to have other characters on screen. However with no plot they aren’t developed, so get back to the robots why don’t ya!?!?!?!

There are some amazing sequences in this movie that make you gasp. That make you cheer. By the time Megatron shows up and the Decepticons rally around him you are thrust right into a third act that doesn’t stop to catch its breath once. We just sit back and watch the robots battle each other, kick the crap out of the humans, and the crowd sitting in the theater clapping away. Oh and the flames on Optimus Prime? I hate to say this but it’s easy to bitch about when you see the pictures on the web as they stand still, but when you are watching the movie and everything is moving so quickly, you are glad to have the flames because it makes Optimus stand out.

Was the movie perfect? Far from it. Did it bring something original to the movies? Yes…and I’m glad for it. In a summer season full of bad-to-subpar sequelitis it was amazing to see the Transformers, especially since I was so on the fence about it. This movie will no doubt spawn a couple sequels, make the Transformers a household name like they were in the mid eighties, and make a superstar out of Shia LaBeouf.

It might not stay to true to the comic or the television show but it doesn’t matter. It’s fun and so quick that by the time its over you won’t have time to gripe. You’ll want to talk about all the great stuff you just saw up onscreen.

RATING: 3 and ½ stars (OUT OF FOUR)

[bigdaddyhub]

Now all I need is another fat kid to chest bump when I see this movie!!!

Totally Geeked!

[pop monkey]

CANNOT WAIT!!

I was wondering, though, if the classic "transforming" sound effects were actually going to be present in the movie. I know they appear in some of the later trailers, but they seem tacked on. The reviewer admits to getting geeked out by the sfx in the trailer, but doesn't confirm whether or not they appear in the film. Since he doesn't express disappointment in their absence, I'll assume they were retained... for now.

[ziza9]

Already waiting in line in spirit. I will definitely be going to see this.

[JDoudican]

I've got my tickets for the Monday night showing!

[charles]

I saw an advanced screening of this last night, and I have to say that this review is exactly on point, although I have to disagree with the comments about Shia LaBeouf. I thought his character was annoying and I really wished he had less screen time. This is no discredit to his acting ability, but to the writers that wrote some of the corniest dialog I've heard in a movie in a long time. In all honesty, all of the human leads were very superficial and their moments in the movie made me cringe half the time.

That said, the action and effects were top notch. It was a fun ride overall... if you can tune out/tolerate bad acting, dialog, and a plot that's about as solid as a wet noodle, then you'll be getting your money's worth in entertainment.

[blackcyclops]

Originally Posted by MattBrady

by Ryan McLelland

It might not stay to true to the comic or the television show but it doesn’t matter. It’s fun and so quick that by the time its over you won’t have time to gripe. You’ll want to talk about all the great stuff you just saw up onscreen.

Fanboys ALWAYS have time to gripe...just check these forums...LMAO

[Kid Vorpal]

Originally Posted by bigdaddyhub

Now all I need is another fat kid to chest bump when I see this movie!!!

Totally Geeked!

I think you posted this on the wrong site.

[bigdaddyhub]

Originally Posted by Kid Vorpal

I think you posted this on the wrong site.

OOPS!!! You are right! I meant to say, "I for one am offended by the overtones of sexuality found in this movie. Alan Moore would have been a much better choice for Shia LeBouf's character. What does Bill Myers or stvnhtr have to say about this?"

[Jomma]

I refuse to give any of my money to that demon from hell known as Michael Bay.

[Tusko]

I'm lookin' forward to this flick.

I hope its semi-logical for us big kids.

[whoisparker]

I saw an advanced screening last night and loved it. For anyone that was disappointed in Spider-Man 3, go see Transformers. Sure, it has it's flaws (plot flimsy at times, comedy beats drawn out way too long, some unclear action scenes) but the movie more than makes up for them. The visuals are supurb, the special effects are incredible and seamless, and they remain true to the source materieal. This one is great for kids and adults, whether you are a fan of Transformers from way back or not.

The transforming is really cool. It is more detailed the first time each one does it and they twist and flip around just like the toys. And yes, you get to hear the classic sound that we all imitated with our own toys. Hearing Peter Cullen as Optimus was the icing in the cake. Seeing all of these classic characters reinvented and come to live on the big screen was amazing. All in all a great summer movie!

I am also wondering, did anyone else see the mystery trailer at the begining of the film? Nobody knows what it was for. There was a website that flashed by too quick and I can't remember it. It looked kind of interesting.

[durkadurka]

Huh.
Thanks for the review. I was really on the fence about this movie.
I mean...Transformers!!! When i first heard about it, i too turned back into a pre-pubescent dork-child. I had the teaser image as my wallpaper for months, long before i saw the first actual trailer.
Then i saw the first trailer, and i was just "...meh." But with this review, I am kind of excited about seeing it again. But i do wish, like Ryan said, the Transformers were much more prominent. Just from the trailers it looks like it will be focusing on the people a lot more than it should. But no matter. Optimus Prime makes it all better.

[vbartilucci]

Originally Posted by Ryan McLelland

I love Turturro. He is god in ...the underappreciated Brain Donors.

Oh god yes. The Coen flicks don't need touting, but Brain Donors certainly does. One of the few times a remake can stand on its own against the original. Up there with Stallone's Oscar and the more recent Down With Love on my list of movies I can't grasp why more people don't just ADORE.

Flakfizer IS ballet...

[JamesJesse]

In some of the theaters here in the Philippines, the viewers gave it a standing ovation.


I acknowledge the lack of a real plot, and the number of plot holes such as it is, but it does not matter. The simple plot made it easier to follow all the "Holy Sh*t!" moments,

And that clapping? A worldwide phenomenon. Happened here too during the same time,

Watching it again this weekend fellas.

[mindtaker]

Just watched it with my two brothers and some friends. My youngest brother has no intrest in transformers and my other brother is well....... a fanboy like me. The friends(much to m dismay) didn't even know what an autobot was??????? We all loved it.

It was funny action packed and visualy stunning. There was a couple of scenes, that if you really thought about it wouldn't make sense but hey nothings perfect.

As a die hard transformers fan there were 4 thing that happend in the movie that an average auddience member couldn't possibly appreciate, each one made me yell out loud HELL YEAH!!!!!!

I want a sequal now, I want Grimlock and Starscreams seekers maybe the combatacons or shockwave perhaps Blaster could make an appearance.

ALL HAIL MEGATRON.

(oh and there was clapping in my cinema too)

[durkadurka]

Originally Posted by mindtaker

Just watched it with my two brothers and some friends. My youngest brother has no intrest in transformers and my other brother is well....... a fanboy like me. The friends(much to m dismay) didn't even know what an autobot was??????? We all loved it.

It was funny action packed and visualy stunning. There was a couple of scenes, that if you really thought about it wouldn't make sense but hey nothings perfect.

As a die hard transformers fan there were 4 thing that happend in the movie that an average auddience member couldn't possibly appreciate, each one made me yell out loud HELL YEAH!!!!!!

I want a sequal now, I want Grimlock and Starscreams seekers maybe the combatacons or shockwave perhaps Blaster could make an appearance.

ALL HAIL MEGATRON.

...dammit.
Thanks for the spoilers.

[RyanMcLelland]

Originally Posted by vbartilucci

Flakfizer IS ballet...

"You're out of line!"
"And you're out of toilet paper! But we're still short one girl..."

Only second by...

"You're excited? FEEL THESE NIPPLES!"

Yes...a great remake of Night At The Opera.

If only Turturro was better in Transformers....grrrr.....

[B|ackPanther]

This movie is going to be great, I can't wait to see it. Megatron looks alright but the rest of the robots look awesome.

[mindtaker]

Originally Posted by durkadurka

...dammit.
Thanks for the spoilers.

ahh... what spoilers.

[durkadurka]

Originally Posted by mindtaker

ahh... what spoilers.

Revealing who is not in the movie is a spoiler. I don't really care that much, but i wanted to be surprised.

[eddie3429]

Originally Posted by mindtaker

ahh... what spoilers.

can't think of bad moment in whole film..

[TheGrayHulk]

Yes, I'm a Transie.

I will most probably ejaculate during this movie. (Matt, I can say that here, right? )

I hope I don't leave too many stains on the theatre...

TRANSFORMERS FOREVER!!

[MattBrady]

Originally Posted by TheGrayHulk

Yes, I'm a Transie.

I will most probably ejaculate during this movie. (Matt, I can say that here, right? )

sure - I make special exceptions for trannies.

MattB

[Street Carp]

I think I'm the first person on here to say that I wanna see it because of... Megan Fox!

(ian)